October 16 (Day 5)

A letter to the person who hurt you the most...

Dear Sam,

Where do I start? It would be a waste of my time to sit here and tell you what you did wrong. Because you already know. It would be a waste of my time to say sorry for how I reacted. Because you already know that too. I felt justified in hating you and making sure you knew it because of how small and pitiful and insufficient you made me feel. You probably didn't realize at the time how your actions toward her would make me feel. You probably still don't know to the fullest extent the damage you caused. You broke my heart. You made me feel like I wasn't good enough, and that because of my personal standards I became boring and drab to you. I can't even count all the hours I spent crying and thinking of you and wishing that you would change your mind. But that has ended.

I know now just how hard it was to stick to my guns. And I'm glad that I did because I know that if I hadn't that it would have made the hurt a lot worse.

I swear to you that no matter how many times you come back, call, or try to win me over, that I am done. I won't waste another second of my life missing you or crying over you. So you shouldn't waste your time pursuing something.

I am done.

I want you to know that I forgive you, Sam and I sincerely hope that things work out with you and her. And I hope you never have to learn your lesson again, however, if you choose to make that mistake again I hope she gives you hell for it. I did. And if you're stupid enough to do it again then you deserve it.

And I'm just going to end there on that happy note. I wish this was a final goodbye, but it's just not. I wish I never had to see you again, but I will. I just hope you have the sense to back off when you come back. I won't fall for it again.

Love,

Sarah

October 15 (Day 4)

Favorite TV show...
Do up even need to ask? IT'S GLEE!!!! I'm addicted. Finn, Puck and Sam... SO GREAT! Great music, great cast, great times. Sometimes I forget my middle name.

October 14 (Day 3)

Again... Not really day 3. Sorry.

So today's post is "A picture of you now and a picture of you two years ago. What has changed?"

Well for one, I no longer look like I'm ten (yes I was 15 in that picture). The second picture was taken over the spring break vacation of my 9^th grade year. The first was just a few months ago. Not much in the ways of appearance have changed. I still have blue eyes. I still have that long dirty blonde hair. Still have freckles, and that squinty grin going on. It's the things you can't see that have really changed, my interests, responsibilities, and priorities being some of the most prominent. Back then the biggest of my worries were the ever approaching start of high school, fitting in, and getting my learners permit. Today I wish that were all I had to worry about. I never dreamed that such things as “the ballroom team”, “the boyfriend”, and “the drama” would take me on the high school crash course of a lifetime. However strenuous and confusing that path was, I did conquer the fears of my 15 year old self. I did in fact live through my sophomore (and junior) years. I don’t really care about pleasing most of my peers, because often times we have very different priorities and standards. And yes, I did get my learners permit and driver’s license. Today I worry about college. Today I think about a career. Today I’m a totally different girl. A part of me will always be the timid teenager in that photo. And a part of me will continue to learn and grow with the ever quickening pace of my life, wherever it may take me.

October 13 (Day 2)

OK so it's not really day two, but my fall break plans did interrupt my access to an internet connection. So a few days late. Sorry. I'll catch up I promise.

My dream date:
I did warn you.
Every girl has their fantasy of the candle lit dinner on the beach. That sounds more like honeymoon to me than date. I mean, it seems like a little too much to hope for with any teenage boy to be perfectly honest. So I'll attempt to stick to some sense of reality.
I've been on enough awkward dates to last me a lifetime. The first aspect of my date is the guy. Easy to talk to, funny, respectful and appropriate.
The date would definitely include a meal (I do love food). And besides that, I don't really think about it that much. Great guy, good food. I'm set.

October 12 (Day 1)

OK. So one of my good friends told me about the teenage blogger's "THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE". I'm going to do it. Consider this day 1. I apologize to the "already-out-of-high-school-readers" This will be extremely cliche and cheesy. For the rest of you... Enjoy :)

***Disclaimer. I will post tomorrow, however I'll be out of town and internet connection for fall break and days/posts 3 and 4 could quite possibly be delayed. But don't fret, I'll be scribbling away in my notebook all the while I'm camping. I'll take pictures.

Don't You Miss High School?

A picture is worth a thousand words. So I'll just leave it at that.

Doing Just Fine

This has been a five star summer! I've been really busy, but I've been having fun. Making skirts and dresses, working, shopping, dancing, working, camping, and working (lots of working).

I'm still working at the nursery, but a good friend also hired me on at her floral shop. I've been learning to do floral arrangements, corsages, boutonnières, etc. And even though the nursery is a refreshing 100-110 degrees on average, I've been happily busy trimming, transplanting, and planting decorative pots. Can you tell that I like flowers?

I have also begun training and practicing with my dance partner (not boyfriend) for the upcoming seasons. We've got our waltz down and it's on to Quickstep (YIKES!!!). I've also been taking a really low key technique class from a member of the Lehi Ballroom Alumni with a bunch of old faces. It's been great. Next week I'll be on BYU campus for their prestigious ballroom camp. I couldn't be more excited.

Earlier in the summer I was called to be the assistant ward organist and I've been really busy practicing and stressing over that. I'm sure one day I'll be able to look back fondly on the Sundays that I accompanied for the meetings, but right now, I can only look fondly on the thought of being done. My new favorite saying is, "And you thought SPEAKING in church was hard!" All in all though, I'm learning and getting slowly better.

I hope all of your summers are going as easy and happy as mine. So yeah...