October 16 (Day 5)

A letter to the person who hurt you the most...

Dear Sam,

Where do I start? It would be a waste of my time to sit here and tell you what you did wrong. Because you already know. It would be a waste of my time to say sorry for how I reacted. Because you already know that too. I felt justified in hating you and making sure you knew it because of how small and pitiful and insufficient you made me feel. You probably didn't realize at the time how your actions toward her would make me feel. You probably still don't know to the fullest extent the damage you caused. You broke my heart. You made me feel like I wasn't good enough, and that because of my personal standards I became boring and drab to you. I can't even count all the hours I spent crying and thinking of you and wishing that you would change your mind. But that has ended.

I know now just how hard it was to stick to my guns. And I'm glad that I did because I know that if I hadn't that it would have made the hurt a lot worse.

I swear to you that no matter how many times you come back, call, or try to win me over, that I am done. I won't waste another second of my life missing you or crying over you. So you shouldn't waste your time pursuing something.

I am done.

I want you to know that I forgive you, Sam and I sincerely hope that things work out with you and her. And I hope you never have to learn your lesson again, however, if you choose to make that mistake again I hope she gives you hell for it. I did. And if you're stupid enough to do it again then you deserve it.

And I'm just going to end there on that happy note. I wish this was a final goodbye, but it's just not. I wish I never had to see you again, but I will. I just hope you have the sense to back off when you come back. I won't fall for it again.

Love,

Sarah